Amsterdam – October 2012

My story starts when I was a girl around eight years old. I can recall my mum shopping for some radical new diet that involved ten types of tablets twice a day plus shakes. You know the one, all about herbs and life.. One of the biggest things that sticks out in my memory when I think about my mum as I was growing up was that she was NEVER happy with her weight. By the age of 13 I could recite the calorie value of most commonly used foods in my household from the calorie counter (pre-internet!). I didn’t even know it at the time but I was way more aware of my weight than a girl of my age should be.

Me (right) at 14/15, around the time I started getting curvy and wearing baggy clothes.

I had learnt a lot about disordered eating so when I hit puberty and started to get curves I thought I was fat. So I did what a lot of teenage girls do and hopped on the yo-yo diet train for the next 10 or so years. Now when I look at photos of myself at between the ages of 14-20 I curse that girl for worrying about her weight. What stupid thoughts I had! But it was too late and I had already set myself up for failure with my new terrible eating patterns of skipping meals and binge eating.

Me (left) and a friend, circa 2005

I was at my heaviest in 2005. I had been experiencing the freedom of living away from home (and eating whatever I liked) for a few years. I don’t remember weighing myself around that time but I would guess that I got somewhere close to 90kg. Or very close to. Looking back on the photos I wonder why no-one told me. I knew I was overweight but I was in serious denial to how much. But how do you tell someone they’ve let themselves go? Impossible without hurting feelings in there somewhere.

Very uncomfortable NYE 2006

I woke up to my stupidity (4 energy drinks a day, 1-2 litres of coke, take out for dinner most nights and sitting in front of my computer for 10+ hours a day). I realized that we only get one shot to do everything that we want to do. One. What a scary realization! I have plans. I want to see my family grow real old and have as many adventures as I can. How am I going to do that? Get fit, get healthy, be happy.

Me & Koda, much healthier in 2009

Thankfully this has a happy ending and I dropped over 20kg. I exercised my butt off (literally!) with hard work and healthy eating. It wasn’t easy but I did it!! I look at my before photos and I can’t believe I loved myself so little that I was that careless with my health. I’m already over half way there but it’s still a long road ahead. I broke my humerus bone in a snowboarding accident NYE and for the last almost three months have been fairly sedentary. My arm is all healed up, I’m ready (and very much in need) to start kicking ass again.

Most recent, October 2012

I want to share what I’ve learnt so far with others in the hopes that I help someone start their own story. Even if I just help one person it’ll be worth it.

I’d love to hear more about your story, leave a comment below or link to your own blog!